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We do jobs that test us to the limit, have relationships with people we don’t like, tolerate bullshit and generally feel shit about the whole god damn mess but when any of us are feeling low, how many think to check our feelings against our core values? Sure the core values are supposed to stop us from getting into the sticky situation in the first place … but when the fruit is sweet and ripe for picking, it’s easy to swallow it whole and worry about the bellyache after.

I think core values in their pure sense belong to twenty-year-olds. Only a twenty-year-old can feel the true glory of surviving teenage years and look with unfettered optimism to the uncertainty of life ahead. This is the time for ideals and some lucky few spend their whole lives fighting for them but let’s face it, the vast majority of us muddle through.

Along the way we pick up labels and wonder how they apply to us, how they couldn’t apply to us: bad friend, selfish mother, absent father, manipulative girlfriend, cheating boyfriend. These experiences shape who we are and some have the ability to shake us to our core. When that happens, the old core values get a nudge, shift a little to the left, or the right.

There are positives too. It’s said that the worse the experience, the more we learn. This is the value of pain. Einstein describes insanity as the repetition of an action but expecting a different result. How many of us repeat the same action time and again and wonder how we ended up in the same spot all while cursing from the high heavens, damning the universe and all its creatures?

It takes us ages to learn. It takes courage to change. I write all this and while I write I wonder what the hell my own core values might be. So many situations have occurred in my life that necessitated decisions I never knew I could make, so I often look at myself and wonder who I am. Is that really what the question of core values implies: who am I?