https://bit.ly/4aSXcMp
https://bit.ly/3KpGWIe
https://bit.ly/3yXajPm
https://bit.ly/3V6mYHn
https://bit.ly/3V6mZuV
https://bit.ly/4aMfOxB
https://bit.ly/3V6n1D3
https://bit.ly/3V6n2a5

Because racism has become a 4-letter word, can we just say that people, for whatever reason, are predisposed to be attracted to certain races? It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; you’re just like everybody else. But please, pretty pretty please, let’s not poo-poo the dating experiences, online or not, of people of color by saying “you’re imagining things, stop making something out of nothing.” It is NOT nothing.

I totally understand and agree that people would be attracted to what is familiar to them, i.e. their own race. However, if that were totally true, then the reply percentage, while skewed, would be skewed equally, i.e. blacks would reply to blacks at the same rate that whites would reply to whites, etc. Obviously, the rates are not equal, and THAT is what is horrible. It’s the disparity that’s problematic. Certain race/gender combinations are valued above others. How can anyone not agree that this is happening and troubling?

As one of the undervalued race/gender combinations, I can say from experience with other online dating sites, ones which do publish racial preferences, that, if there is a race excluded from someone’s preferences it’s almost always mine. Like someone else said, it’s not that one race is preferred, it’s that one is unpreferred. That’s horrible! And although I have never had the experience of being a black woman, I’d bet my bottom dollar that their online dating experiences are extremely similar. This is extremely frustrating and demoralizing, and it’s even more so when other people try to dismiss my concerns.

Bottom line, our (define it however you want) culture has put a premium on some race/gender combinations while devaluing others.